Monologue - The Scoop

Siblings, Seb & Maya are at a cocktail party.

Maya comes back with a drink in each hand, busting with the lowdown.

Maya

Okay, here’s the scoop. Firstly, she’s straight.

Actually. Firstly, she smells fantastic. I was transported to a fresh meadow full of rainbows.

Trust me. She’s straight. She didn’t hit on me, and look at me, I’m a goddam masterpiece.

She’s single. I couldn’t figure out if she’s slutty-single or settledown-single. That’s for you to delve.

Her name is Shakira. Sha-ki-ra. Good name right?

She’s recently moved here for work. Some sort of goodie two-shoes, helping the helpless, angel job. Right up your alley. Dunno the living sitch.

She’s at the party with some work person. Not a date. Don’t think it’s a date. She didn’t indicate it was a date. Maybe they thinks it’s a date. You’d better move in fast if you want to make an impression before she’s overwhelmed with new people and forgets about tonight.

She knows about you. I told her all your dark secrets in the two minutes we chatted in line for the Ladies. Kidding! As if would I sabotage you when I’m trying to set you up!

She knows what you look like, she knows you’re my brother, she knows your name. Because I said, “I’m here with my brother Seb. That’s him over there.”

Jesus Seb! Pull yourself together. We’re moving on from Callie. It’s bad enough I had to force you to a party that you were invited to. I laid out your clothes and styled your hair. We’re moving on. I found you a nice chick. Go and get her a drink and chat about saving the fucking world.

(Maya finishes off her drink with a swift gulp).

She’s at the bar. Do you see her? She’s at the bar. Go get yourself another one. At the bar.

Go go go! Godspeed dear brother. I’m heading to the cheese table.

Cast: 
Siblings - Maya & Seb
Authors: 
Nicolle Bradford