Fatsoff: Being the Very Tragical Comical History of the Life of the Real Falstaff, as Told by the Fake One
Shakespeare’s Falstaff, lusty, proudly cowardly, and plump, narrates the life of the slim knight he was based on, Sir John (“Jack”) Fastolfe, Knight of the Garter and arch-foe of Joan of Arc during the Hundred Years’ War. Falstaff mocks him, calling him Fatsoff, Fast Oaf, and the False Elf, in direct address in the Prologue and after most scenes. Even while touting his own exploitation of women, Falstaff constantly mocks Fastolfe’s warrior adventurism, and is delighted to see him humiliated by Joan on the battlefield, falling in love with her ghost, and aging gracelessly defending his lost honor. In the last scene they are humiliated together in the afterlife, being told by Joan, ‘You are each other’s punishment.’
Cast
*Falstaff: Shakespeare’s character; narrator. Young Jack Fastolfe: Age 14. Sir John Fastolfe: A man in his 40s, Jack’s father. An English Archer: A man in his 20s or 30s. Waurin: Henry’s Aide, later Jack’s. A Steward: Henry’s steward, around 40. *Jack Fastolfe: A man around 30, aging to his 70s. Alice Avenel: A woman in her 20s, Jack’s first wife. Avenel: A man around 50, Alice’s father. Young Alice: Age 19, daughter of Jack and Alice. Millicent Scrope: Aging 40s-late 60s, Jack’s second wife. Margaret Scrope: Millicent’s older sister, around 50. John Tibbay: Margaret’s husband’s executor. John Nixander: Age 40, Margaret’s suitor. Lok: A bodyguard and thug in his 20s or 30s. Joan: Age 19, a warrior and saint. D’Arc: A man in his 40s, Joan’s father. Mme. D’Arc: A woman in her 40s, Joan’s mother. First French Archer: Any age from 20 to 50. Second French Archer: Any age from 20 to 50. King Charles: Dauphin of France Agnes: The Dauphin’s Queen Dunois: In his 40s, a French general Herald: Age 14, in Joan’s service Page: Age 14, in Jack’s service. Stephen: In his 20s, then 40s, Millicent’s son. Cade: Captain of a rebellion, age 20s or 30s. Payn: A man in Jack’s service, age 40. Doublings: Falstolfe (boy)/Herald/Page; Sir John Fastolfe/D’Arc/Dunois; Alice/Joan/Young Alice; English Archer/Lok/Cade; Steward/Nixander/Payn; First French Archer/Stephen; Millicent/Agnes; Margaret/Mme. D’Arc; Avenel/Tibbay/King Charles; Waurin/Second French Archer. With doublings, the play requires 12 actors playing 28 roles. *Not doubled Setting: Various locations around England, France, and the Afterlife. Time: Late 14th to mid-15th century, plus eternity.
Authors
Mel Konner